top 10 bassist jokes
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10. Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune his band noticed?
9. How can you tell the stage is level at a gig?
The bassist drools outta both sides of their mouth.
8. what do you call it when two upright bassists playing in unison?
A minor second.
7. Why couldn’t the bassist get through the front door?
He couldn’t find the key and didn’t know when to come in!
6. A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student. The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string. Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string. The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is. The kid picks up and says, "Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."
5. Why can’t bassists tell jokesTiming.
5. Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
It took him four hours to get the bass player out.
4. How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the guitarist has to show him how to do it first.
3. How many country-western bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1 - 5 - 1 - 5 - 1 - 5
1. A man goes on a vacation to a tropical island. As soon as the plane lands, he gets off and hears drumming. At first, he thinks, “This is pretty cool”. He ends up going to a luau and hears the drumming. He eats lunch and hears the drums. He goes to the beach and hears the drums. He tries to sleep, but can’t because of the constant drumming.
The drumming goes on for four days. The guy has to go down to the front desk because he can’t sleep. He asks the manager “What is the deal with these drums! Make them stop. I haven’t got any sleep this whole week!”
The manager of the hotel says “No. Drums don’t stop. You don’t want the drums to stop, sir.”
“Because when drums stop… Bass solo begins!”